Would you like to go to see a movie or get a massage?”
“Can we do both?” he flashed me his big puppy eyes, knowing for sure it has worked it’s charms in the past.
“No, we can only do one this weekend. So…what’s your pick?”
Please pick the massage…please pick the massage…I secretly crossed my fingers as I lowered my backpack on the floor.
“Massage! I haven’t had a massage for a long time.”
“YAY! Yes, let’s do that. We will leave in an hour ok?”
“Ok, Mommy!” He ran downstairs to tell his Oma that we will go get a massage while I change then lay on the bed for awhile then Skype my special someone.
I made it to Saturday and although I couldn’t keep my promise of having Saturday off at least I can still take him out doing something together although my whole body just wanted a long nice uninterrupted sleep.
“But Mommy, I’m hungry…” said the boy who has been on a growth spurt.
“Ok, we can eat there hey before the massage.”
Then off we went to the mall. He picked a small restaurant. He looked so happy this boy of mine. A guilty feeling pulled my soul and squeezed it hard seeing how simple thing like going out just the two of us made his beautiful eyes shines brighter than usual.
That working mom’s guilt
I have been so stressed, stretched beyond my expectations, burnt out and coming home every night exhausted. Leaving very much a short fuse to motherhood. It wasn’t pretty at all and I have been feeling that I am failing him. The inner voices has been ugly and mean. Like a live in bully in my head.
He’s been having a hard time adjusting to going back to school again after a long summer break. In less than a week’s time I got that dreaded school’s note from his homeroom teacher. She wanted to see me.
I feel more defeated than ever…
So we came up with a new plan. To approach him like an adult not like the 8 years old that he really is. I know this may not be the right way – but it works – so I will stick to it.
I told him this is only temporary. His mother working all the time. This is not permanent and our future will be different.
“I like it when you work from home…” he said softly as I lay there next to him on his bed one night.
“I like that too but for now this is our reality…we will make it up and have Saturdays as OUR day. How bout that?” I was thankful for the darkness of the room that hide my tears.
So last Saturday we started our first Saturdate. Early dinner followed by a much needed massage followed by a haircut for him.
It may not be much or fancy but I ignored the phone for several precious hours and focused on him. My son, my boy…and his happiness shines brightly like a flame that fuels my energy to keep going.
For one day my son…things will change for the better.
16 thoughts on “Saturdate – Fighting The Working Mom’s Guilt”
There is a lot being said for talking to kids like an adult. They understand a lot more than we give them credit for I think.
Time is a luxury for most people these days and it is easy to forget what is truly important to us all! Well done and spending quality time the way you wanted!
Aamiin for you both. He’s so precious, and you are a great mom. :))
That is soo great! I’m sure he’ll remember and cherish these moments for a long time.
I can not even begin to imagine what it is like to be away from him and only have saturdays to yourself but you’re doing the best that you can do and that for now it that
It’s so great to be able to be present with them in the time that we have. It’s difficult to keep everything managed well enough to keep that time open and unintruded upon though.
It’s great when you can sit your kids done and have an honest person to person (not kid to adult) conversion. I always loved that about my mom. She always spoke to my sister and I as equals not little kids <3
It definitely sounds like it’s tough for both of you. It’s great that you’re making use of the time you get to spend together though.
Kids like it better when you talk to them like they were adults. Your first Saturdate sounds like fun. That was a precious moment that you will both treasure in the years to come.
I know all too well what it means to be exhausted at the end of the day. I do my best to keep up but sometimes it’s hard. Coffee for the win! 🙂
Oh sometimes its so hard being a parent, mom or dad and being pulled in two different directions, work and parenthood, finding the time to provide for your family and spend time with them can be really trying. Your boy sounds so sweet.
I think saturdate with the kids is a good habit. It’s hard to squeeze in but it’s worth it.
This is one of my goals in the future when I have my own kids already, to give ample time to them and make them feel that family will always be a priority. Thanks for your Saturdate example!
Having a date with your kid is really fun, every weekend were trying to make a date of course with kids. That is a good habit keep it up 🙂
I know that feeling, but somehow I realized that in order to take better care of my kids, I have to be in top shape. That’s the time I started making time for me, so that I can also get some much deserved pampering.
I thought I would go through working mom guilt. Then something big happened and now I’m praying for FT very good work, that i can get to easily. Life is full of surprises, sometimes they’re huge.