Flying Solo

No, this has nothing to do with real flying or traveling…

On July 1st, 2011, I had the pleasure to be interviewed by Steph from Be Postive Mom and featured on her monthly Working Mom Interviews. If you haven’t check out her blog please do so, especially if you are a working – be it from home or full time – mom, she has some really good inspiring posts.

The interview played an impact on my life, as I got to think about being a single mom and the things that come with the territory. Then a new friend brought up the airplane analogy and it just hits home, people!

My new friend said: “Stay focused, have faith that ALL things are healed in time. Be proud, reach high. Treat yourself to all that you deserve. Being a single mother is a hard road, long journey… buckle up, get your landing gear ready, get into a crash position, and hold on. There will be turbulence, and heavy winds, requiring you to circle around and get refueled. Now that you are ready for your journey, put your tray table down, unbuckle your seat-belt, put your seat in the reclining position, close your eyes for relaxation, enjoy the music, and prepare for a safe ride….”

Ain’t that the truth?

What was once a smooth flight got disrupted by turbulence – your whole life is shaking uncontrollably,Ā  it’s changing. There are times where you feel like you have been dropped from 50 plus floor down, your stomach went gaga.

If the turbulence were so bad, you might have to do an emergency landing…anywhere…somehow,Ā  sometimes you don’t even know where you’ll end up. The landing alone might be difficult, chances are you might even get a few bruises on you. It’s part of the journey.

Maybe your oxygen mask would drop from the ceiling and dangles in front of you. Just the way the flight attendants have been showing you…go grab that thing! If you have children, yourself must.comes.first! No questioning about this because then who would help out your kid(s) if you pass out? This one is so true for me because if I can’t rescue me first, there is no way I could care for my son.

Ain’t that what being a single mom is?

If you could co-parenting then it’s great but the path to co-parenting for others doesn’t happen overnight – sure didn’t work that way for me. In a blink of an eye, you are alone with your child(ren).

Sometimes during your emergency landing, you will crash badly…broken wings, your wheels malfunctioned but please don’t let yourself crash and burn. You will think there is no way in the world you will ever fly again but you will have to.

Flying solo is not always easy…

There are times where you’d turn around and look at other passengers with their happy intact family. You look at other women and see they have their spouse helping to make the long journey a bit easier on them…and you look at yourself struggling with your luggage and a screaming baby/toddler while trying not to drop the passports…and you wish there are someone who will fly with you. Overwhelmed is an understatement.

But then out of nowhere, you will see strangers reaching out. Some will try to help you with your luggage, some offer to stow your heavy carry on, some would just nod and give you an understanding smile. Accept that…have faith that someone up there is watching over you and sending these strangers to ease your way. Thanked them and who knows maybe someday somehow you will have a chance to do the same thing to another flying solo mom.

It’s so easy to fall on the pity party mode, believe me, I’ve been there done that! But when the time comes…once your child settled in on his/her seat – better if they fall asleep – you can stretch your legs a little bit, recline your seat a little, put the headset on, let music filling your mind, take some sip of Gin & Tonic and relax. Your journey is still long but when you turn your head you will see the person that loves you unconditionally no matter how divorce had broken you. To them, you will always be their mother, something that nothing in the world could ever change.

Their love is what will fuel you up to keep flying…and that my friends, is how you fly solo.

If you are a single mom, how do you manage your solo flying?

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10 thoughts on “Flying Solo

  1. Steph from Be Positive Mom Reply

    What a beautiful post! Thank you for your inspiring interview. I know your suggestions, tips and story will help others and already has. I love how you explained life through divorce using the airplane’s ups and downs. I’m sure all of us have those moments and experiences when we feel like the oxygen mask is right in front of us and we just need a helping hand to show us how to use it…. but, best of all, you are so right about our little ones and the unconditional love we feel for them. That love that gets us through. Thank you Maureen šŸ™‚

    • Maureen Post authorReply

      Thank you Steph and I can’t thank you enough for having me on your blog and in return inspired me to wrote this post. Since I love traveling and flying, this analogy just comes surprisingly natural and yes it is those unconditional love from our children that push ourselves more than we could ever imagine.

  2. eryka Reply

    Hei Maureen, thank you for sharing.. baca ini berkali-kali dan tetep ya terharu, i feel you darling… okay u can sip ur gin tonic, I’ll take my singapore sling, let sit back and relax for a while haha

    • Maureen Post authorReply

      Hey Eryka, and yes we should definitely get those drinks soon. Sorry I can’t make it this week due to work. Very soon I hope šŸ™‚ Also, thank you for your kind words, girl!

  3. Heidi Reply

    Beautifully written, Oyen. I hope the journey will get easier and easier over time. Hugs

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