I am a single mom.
I am used to do things on my own…on our own.
We…the boy and I went to his school for a Family Fun Day event last month. School events always make me feel uneasy. For some reasons, I always feel like the odd ball, the one that stood out like a sore thumb in the seas of ‘intact’ family of mother, father and kiddo(s) unit.
For school performances I always managed to drag either my mother or one of my brothers to come along.
The Family Fun Day was our first ever event where it was just us two.
When we got to the venue early, there were only a few families there. Complete sets of families.
The boy was very happy and seemed oblivious to the fact that he’s there with just his Mommy.
He got to try some of the games with a few of his classmates.
Then I started to relax.
I cheered for the boy while he sprint and he won first place and I took tons of picture.
He made it to final for the sprint.
Unfortunately, he fell down. I waited for him to get up and run again from the finish line. He wasn’t moving.
“Please don’t cry!” my heart sank but I knew he’s crying.
I saw one of the Dads came rushing to his side and before I knew it I ran to get my son…my boy.
He was a sobbing mess by the time I got to him. He threw his arms around my waist and said “I fell, Mommy!”
After I checked his knees to make sure he’s alright and saw no scratches or bleeding, I kneel down beside him and tell him he’s OK, that I will help him run to the finish line.
His eyes still wet with tears lit up.
I grabbed his hand and said “Let’s run!”
We ran together to the finish line, holding hands…
My sensitive boy was sullen even after I assured him it’s OK, that he is a winner in my book, that he is doing well.
After the winners got their trophies, my boy said he wants to run again. Luckily, there were some moms around who were late. They quickly let the boys run again just for the sake of it.
Boy was smiling again.
We were divided into groups. The parents and their kids, and yes…it was just me and the boy while the other kids have both their parents there.
As usual I felt uneasy about the whole thing. Although the moms treated us nicely, they were all very polite and friendly yet I still feel odd. It was a mental thing I guess.
Then we started having fun. The school had prepared games for the kids to do with their parents. The moms take turns with the dads. I started to loosen up and actually enjoying it. Seeing the excitements on the boy’s face was enough for me.
“Oh, I am so out of shape that game left me breathless, I will have XX’s father do the next game!” lamented one of the moms as I sipped some water. To that, I just smiled knowingly because I remember exactly how that feels like but secretly I was proud of myself for being able to keep up with the games without gasping for air.
We laughed, we danced, we sweat, we cheered, we kicked ass at the field, and most importantly we had a great time!
I realized it was me who needs to relax, it was me who needs to live in the moment and enjoy doing the things that my boy and I are blessed to do instead of worrying what the society thinks. The family day gave me a much more different perspective.
“Did you have fun, pumpkin?” I asked the boy after we got home that day.
“Mommy, it was the best day of my life!” his eyes shines, his smile so wide and my heart puff with so much love.
I may have no husband who secretly bought me Mother’s Day lavish presents as a surprise or taking me to fancy dinner/lunch/brunch or whatever but I am beyond blessed to have someone who calls me Mommy, someone who loves me despite the occasional yelling on my part, despite my shortcomings…I am one lucky Mom to hear my boy says “I love you Mommy!“
The only people that make us moms, are our children. No one else. And you are a superb mom to your boy.
Happy Mother’s Day tomorrow!
That is so true, Alison. Thank you for your kind words, my friend!
Though am not single but most of the time while my hubby travels (a lot) I feel like a single mum! I take my Boys to everything from footy training, footy games, swimming, etc, etc. i know how you feel, I (still) don’t like to spend week end without my hubby around cos every where I go I see family together doing fun things or just relax. While am just with my Boys. Lonely and far away from my family, with no help. I salute you and all the single mothers out there. It’s not easy, it’s tough. Happy Mothers’s Day to you and to all mums out there! xx
Thank you, Ria.
Actually, I’ve been doing it alone since years even before I got divorced. At least 2 years before the divorce, I has been parenting solo and it wasn’t easy. There are a lot of married women who have to do things on their own and I salute them for that. Being a mother is a hard work. You are raising two incredible boys and you deserves to be showered with so much love 🙂
All you need is you, all he needs is you. And anyone that says differently or tries to tell your son it is wrong is dead wrong. So glad you had a great day!
Thank you, girl! You rock! 🙂 Hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day too.
We share Mother’s Day with our children and no one else. The feeling of celebrating with the people who made us mothers is what makes the day special!!
So very true, Andrea. I have a healthy boy who tell me he loves me and that’s just worth more than anything 🙂
Doesn’t it just break your heart when you see them fall and not get up. But you know what? He wanted to go for it again…and that? Is how you know that you’re doing everything right momma. Determination and never giving up.
He’s a sweet boy and he is so lucky to have you who wears so many hats. xo
Aww thank you, girl! That’s so true and I really do hope that he understand that as long he’s trying and not giving up he is a winner already, that’s what I told him too 🙂
You’re an amazing mother, and your son is lucky that you’ll happily put in all the effort you’d normally expect to share – from playing twice as many games, to all the little things that add up, day-to-day. Happy mothers day! 🙂
What a beautiful post! So glad you two had fun together. It’s not always comfortable to stand out in a crowd, but as long as you two had a good time, that’s what mattered. The culture aspect is interesting because in the U.S. (which has a high divorce rate) it’s common to see single parents. Even if you’re not single, both parents don’t always go to event together because one may be working or just busy and it’s totally normal.
That is a such a beautiful picture of your son. He looks so happy that you are there! That’s really all that matters! My best friend feels the same way since getting divorced.
I was raised by single mom and I am all too familar with that odd feeling on days like this, only from the kid’s point of view. My mom might have the same feeling like yours too. I guess it was never easy on both sides but hey we survived 🙂