“Don’t put your eggs in one basket.”
I still remember that advice given to me by a well meaning friend. A fellow single mom who also went through a lot.
Although I understand where she is coming from, I used to believe that. Yet, I can’t follow her advice anymore and let me explain to you why.
Of course, after dealing with infidelities it is very and I said very difficult for me to trust again.
Back then, I went on dates with jerks because I thought I hate to be alone. Ended up meeting the wrong guys because hey, I was still a total mess deep inside. Plenty of unresolved anger, mixed up with bitterness. I held on to the “You betrayed me!” feelings and flashed that card a lot!
Crashed and burned because clearly looking back, now I realized I wasn’t ready to date.
So I spent some times alone…nearly a year off of the dating world.
Found something that I am passionate about, doing things that I love. Getting fit. And in those moments where I focused on ME that I finally realized that happiness is an inside job. Working out, keeping fit, inspiring others to get fit…those things makes me happy. They enrich my life. They give me joy. I realized I can be happy on my own because it really came from within me.
Then after I thought I was ready to date and yet another dating disaster, I said that’s it! Dating here really is cray cray! But I didn’t dwell too much out of it, I was able to laugh about the crazy dating experience even talked about it on a radio interview!
Until that day…
He came into my life. Unexpectedly. Suddenly.
Then everything changes.
We hit it off right from the start.
We both love working out…score!
We both take healthy eating seriously…double score!
We both are expressive with our words…triple score!
The connection we both felt…he could explain it to you better than me! Oh, believe me, one day I’ll get him to post here.
And I could go on and on.
Unexpectedly love came knocking at my door politely and I opened the door. I invited love to come into my life.
Am I scared?
Heck yeah!
At first, when I feel he is getting closer and closer and my heart can no longer resist him…fears dropped by.
I told him about my fears, about my doubts.
He understood and he held my hand while he softly said “Just please stop talking about before, M. I am now, I am the future, you are my now and my future. Well, I believe you are, I hope you are…I want that you are…”
And I closed my eyes to let his words sink deeper into my soul. Washing my fears away.
When we talked about our future together, I got scared. Intense profound fears because I haven’t opened myself up this much before. Being vulnerable because I have allowed my heart to trust him.
Fears turned into sadness and negative self-talk again.
While he just stands there holding his hand out for me to hold. Saying he would help me. He understands. He’s there for me willing to help.
Trust is Within Me
That’s what I realized finally. I need to fully trust myself that I am with the right person, the one who deserves my love, my commitment. I need to listen to my heart.
Things have been flowing naturally since day 1, there’s no forcing it, no games…just two people feeling pulled together by something beyond our power. And we enjoy every moment of it. We are managing our relationship daily.
He has all the qualities of a man that I jotted down awhile back in my diary plus more!
So I am drawn to him, into his beautiful soul just the way he’s captivated by me.
I decided to give love another chance because I love myself enough now to know that peace, love, and happiness come from within me.
“I am the mirror of you, M” that’s what he would often say and it took me awhile to fully understand what that meant.
When I am centered, when I have abundant joy, when love is overflowing from within me, I am attracting love from the universe. And he came into my life.
And I am trusting myself enough to know better now, to know that I don’t need a man to complete me but someone who can accept me completely.
Choosing Love
And as I’m typing this I have a big smile on my face. My heart is so full of love. Not just for him but for life. For everything that has brought me here to this very day.
I can’t give partial love for the fear that he would walk out on me.
Not anymore!
Now, I believe the love that he and I share is wonderful, it is strong because we believe in our own selves in the soul-connection we both feel.
The road is still long but we choose love…I choose love. I choose to be positive about us, to walk by faith.
Now tell me how did you know your spouse/partner was the one? Go! 🙂
Linking up with Shell for her awesome Pour Your Heart Out.
I can feel your happiness, just reading this post, Maureen.
And I’m thrilled and excited for you as you embark on this forever path.
I don’t remember when I knew my husband was the one. I just know that when we first met, I was desperate to impress him. Even though we were both dating other people 🙂
Thank you so very much, Alison 🙂
Still think your love story is super cute and adorable 😀
I’m so happy for you, Maureen! Glad that you’re now ready to open your heart and receive love. No one knows the future, no one can guarantee anything. But that should not stop us from loving.
To answer your question, I never knew my husband was the one when we met because we are so different. It still amazes me sometimes. I just think a relationship where the two people share common priorities and values will make it easier – and you both have that 🙂 Wishing you blessings in your new love!
That’s so very true, Ruth. I think about it and he even made me promise that no matter what happen in our future that I will be the best version of me that I can be. He’s amazing. He doesn’t ask me to promise him forever. I think that’s part of the reasons why I’m feel such a profound bond with him now.
Oh that’s so cute, Ruth! They do say opposite attracts, doesn’t? 😉
Thank you so very much, Ruth.
Ah senangnyaaaaa 🙂
Foto mana foto?hhahaha
Hahaha makasih Kaka!
Foto menyusul yah 😉
I love this post so much! I’m so happy you have found the one to make you feel this way and bring so much joy and excitement to your life after the dark cloud finally passed.
I feel exactly the same way about my husband, which Is how I knew he was the one. I wasn’t just excited about life with him, I was excited about life, period again. He brought life to me and I became and wanted to be a better person because of him.
So so happy for you! I could hug you! *hugs*
Cassie, thank you so much, my friend!
That’s so lovely to hear that you feel the same way about your husband. So I guess those sayings about us loving life, loving ourselves first before true love can come to us is true, isn’t? I still feel like “Wow, is this really happening?” sometimes and he had to poke me and we’d laugh together.
Awww virtual hugs accepted and returned, girl! Thank you again 🙂
I am so happy that you have found the perfect man for you and that you have opened your heart and life to love again. There is no guarantee that the future will always be absolutely perfect but from the sounds of it yours will be what others strive for.
How did I know that my husband was the one? Hmm… I don’t know really. I just knew that he was I suppose.
Thank you, Jackie! 🙂 I am indeed lucky. We just fit perfectly together and you are right there’s no guarantee so we are enjoying, loving and feeling grateful for today, a new days means new chance on love.
Thank you for sharing too, so lovely to know that sometimes yes, you just knew it.
I’m so happy for you! It’s a wonderful feeling, isn’t it… that rebirth of trust.
You are so beautiful…inside and out.
It takes people so long to realize that it’s you that needs to change in order to bring yourself to peace and then move forward.
And you did it.
Your heart is ready to trust and love.
And I am so thankful that this man, came politely knocking.
Absolutely such a beautiful post in every way. Good for you for allowing your heart to be open again. For letting yourself trust. :)-Ashley
Thank you Ashley 🙂 It’s been such a humbling thing really to finally being confident enough to trust again.
I think it’s awesome that you’ve found love and you are able to trust again. It’s a beautiful thing!
Thank you, Teresa, it really is beautiful 🙂
I so enjoyed reading this and felt you happiness in it. I’m glad you met someone great. It is so hard to trust again, I’m sure.
And focusing on you? That’s great. I’m in the process of trying to get more fit and love myself more.
Thank you Carolyn. He’s wonderful and I feel so blessed.
That loving our selves part is a daily practice. I think all of us need to relearn how we speak to ourselves. YAY for you to try to get more fit. Baby steps counts 🙂
Oh, this post made me smile- I’m so happy for you!
The thing about love is that there comes a point when you just need to trust that it IS the right person and be in the relationship with your whole heart. That’s where the joy is.
Thank you Shell 🙂
My old self would’ve demand more reassurance from this man but now that I trust myself enough, I just let things flow naturally and everything just gets better each and every day.
Love what you said and that is so very true.
What a beautiful post! I can feel your happiness. It actually felt like your heart opened wide. How wonderful. I knew my husband was the one because I know that pull. I always talk about the pull that I felt when I saw him. That I had to know him. That somehow, he was going to be in my life. I love that you chose love!
Thank you Ann Marie, that’s so sweet of you to say.
So wonderful to hear about that pull between you and your husband. Just so lovely! 🙂
What a wonderful post! Just can feel the happiness flowing through your fingers while typing it! Good for you, Maureen!
Thank you so much Ewa 🙂
There is something so inspiring about reading someone’s very heart. You have done it so beautifully here. Many blessings and wishes for the best for you and your love! I love where you said “happiness is an inside job.”
So true!
Many thank you, Andrea!
It really is an inside job and until I was finally came to full awareness of that…I was looking on the outside to find that happiness 🙂
Whoaaaa…this is by far the most beautiful post I have read here! Just to read this I can feel joy overflowing within me. So happy for you 🙂
Thank you so much Rina 🙂
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This is a beautiful love story. I’m so glad you took time for yourself and did all the right things that prepared yourself for true love even though you didn’t know that’s what you were doing when you put the focus on you and being happy yourself. If you ever make it by to read my stories you will see that I had to deal with infidelity in my relationship too but I ended up marrying the man who continued to cheat on me; and although we are now divorced, we are back together and he is now my knight in shining armor. You’ll understand more clearly once you read my tea room diary stories.
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