Ok, this post will be a RANT…
For about a little over a month now, Lil’ A has been showing great interests in my make-ups as you can see on my posting here.
It all started while we were still living at my parents’ house. He would asked (well, more like demanded, actually!) his grandma (Oma) to put lipstick on him too whenever he sees Oma trying to put some on. We tricked him and giving him a chapstick instead.
Later on he moved to face powder and blush-ons especially mine. He would throw a fit if I didn’t let him play with it and since I thought there’s no harm in him playing I gave him one of my blush-on that I never use and a brush. He had fun and said “Look at my cheeks, Mommy.”
Apparently, some people are against this especially here, “Don’t let him plays with make-ups! He’ll turn gay or queer!” Even my two brothers were complaining about this. However, after I explained to them that it is just a toddler thing. Monkey see, monkey do…he sees me putting my make-ups on, he wants to try it himself. He sees me putting some body lotion on, he wanted it too. It will not determine his sexual orientation later on. Both of them finally let it go.
Not easy to explain this kinds of things to others as I heard the comments from people outside my family circle. It bugs me a lot, to say the least. I even asked the last person who made such comment to show me the scientific evidence that toddler boys who plays with his mommy’s make-ups will turn gay when they grow up to no avail.
Mr. X said the most common sense thing on the phone to me today when I vented out. He said “For him, it’s just a toy, something to experiment with. Nothing more. The more we tell him no, the more he wants it.”
Coming from a very gender specific culture, this is one thing that I wish I can change, but I know I can’t change how others think. The perception and unnecessary paranoia about a boy who plays with stuffed toys or worst make-ups are so silly in my opinion. So what if my son wants to play dress up too? Will you have a heart attack seeing him trying on my heels?! How come a girl who’d rather plays soccer or refused to wear skirts only be ‘labeled’ as a tomboy but a boy who plays dress-up or painting his face with his mommy’s make-ups immediately going to grow up as a queer?! Does it mean that you’re gay if you hang out with gays too? No, right?!
I have talked with other parents of toddler who said their boys went through the same thing. So please keep your comments and your precious parenting advices to yourself because my son doesn’t need to hear all your negativity. And I will not limit his fun just for the fear that he’ll turn gay! Allow him to be little and enjoy this precious toddlerhood moments.
Awwww, what a sweetie pie!! I think all little boys go through that stage…with no harm done. Think of it this way….he’ll never have chapped lips! My 4 year old son finally became uninterested in my make-up and he has turned out to be ALL boy. We pretty much focused his attention in a positive and fun way by narrowing it down to the chapstick and promoting him using it by letting it be his. He was just proud to “own” something that grown ups used. Your friend is exactly right….he simply sees it as a fun toy. It should bring some relief to you that kids get tired of playing with their toys eventually. good luck with that!!
Hi Sharon,
Thanks for your re-assurance and sharing your own experience. We just got him his third tube of chapstick LOL.
Don’t worry about this. I really do think it is a stage that most little boys go through. Very much “monkey see, monkey do,” just like you said. They just want to do anything that they see Mommy doing…and they don’t understand that putting on make-up is “gender specific.” I have a two-year-old son who does the exact same thing from time to time. I just laugh and tell him that only Mommies wear make-up, not little boys. Sometimes, when he’s being really persistent, I use the chapstick trick too. It’s so neat to know that you are raising a son in Indonesia, and I am raising one in Boston…and the only difference is our location! 🙂