Welcome to Single Moms Monday. I hope this time around I can stick to my schedule and post regularly at the beginning of every week with blog posts related to being a single mom.
With the growth of the Single Moms Indonesia group, I began to see a pattern emerging of questions posted by our members.
“How to be strong?”
“How can I move on with my life?”
“How do you heal?”
These are all genuinely very valid questions. One that I asked myself too when I first threw myself entirely into this so-called title as a single mother.
I had no one to help me understand what was happening in my life…I had no other friends to discuss these questions with.
So seeing SMI members come together and answer these questions melts my heart. The bond becomes thicker as I watch this group grow and expand.
5 Tips for Newly Single Moms:
- There are no 12 steps to be a strong single mom list that will guarantee you will be happy again. No! Why? Because being a single mom is a completely complex journey. No magic recipes will work for every single mom out there. There’s simply no one size fits all.
- Grieve! Seriously, cry if you must cry, shout and scream if you need to. Accept that grieving is an important part of healing. Believe me. If you avoid grieving, you will stall your healing process because you want to look strong. Grieving is healthy. You are crying over a death. Yes, divorce is a death…a death of a relationship you thought would last forever. You grieve as your ex-boyfriend, who got you pregnant, decides to leave your life, leaving you feeling broken, confused, and pregnant! Please know that those emotions are normal. Feel them, acknowledge them, let them run their course and washes over you. When you block yourself from feeling all the grief, anger, and sadness, you dig your own hole.
- Be gentle with yourself. Please don’t blame yourself for what happened that left you as a single mother now. If your marriage ended, it was meant to end. If your boyfriend left you…well, he was never meant to stay in the first place. Stop punching yourself for what has done is done.
- Stop overanalyzing things! This is a dangerous trap to start overanalyzing things. Maybe if I lose a few pounds…maybe if I act this way or that way. The damage is done, my dear. Now we need to focus on getting you back on your two feet. Don’t torture your beautiful soul with a million what if’s.
- One day at a time…You could very quickly drive yourself mental if you should worry so much about the future. I am a firm believer that the Universe will provide. We have to put our intentions out there and do the work. So take a deep breath…take it one day at a time. Stay positive, and one day you may be able to look back and smile.
So there you go, five tips for new single moms out there. You are NOT alone. Reach out…lean in…we care for you.