My heart has been heavily pushing me to do the right thing for week before I gathered enough courage to let her go.
The boy and I love our nanny. She is sweet; she loves my boy and very patience with him. She’s not like the neighborhood nannies who hang out at night outside the house with their boyfriends.
She’s the first live in nanny we ever had. She’s been with us since the first time I went back to work in 2010. Three years of me trusting her to help taking care of A while I’m at work.
She got the weekend off even when her ‘boss’ have to work on Saturdays.
A adores her, love her and give her plenty of affections too.
Then she had a boyfriend…
Then she told me they were getting married despite her young age.
Everyone told me to get ready to find a replacement nanny.
In our office pantry I’ve heard countless stories about how hard, how difficult it is to find the right nannies, the right helpers. Typical working moms’ stories and dilemmas…I always thought we were quite lucky with her.
After the nanny’s wedding, she moved out to live with her husband. She would come in the morning before A wakes up and come home after I got home from work.
Then she started going home at 5:00 PM…
She would text me, saying she’s going home. “Ok and thank you.” That would be my typical replies.
Then 5:00 PM turned into 4:00 PM.
Later I found out she’s been making A had his dinner before 4 so she could come home. Of course the boy would get hungry again at around 7 or 8 which is very close to his bedtime.
When I asked her why she make A had such an early dinner she came up with excuses saying she’s tired, she have to go home and cook and bla bla bla…
My jaws dropped.
I have to leave home before 6:00 AM everyday and often times I didn’t come home until 6:00 PM sometimes later. My boy went to school from 8 until 12. She’s pretty much free during those hours. I even told her she could go home while A is in school so she could do her “wifely duties”. She didn’t take the offer.
That’s when it hits me, it’s time to let her go. Things are not working out and A is getting bigger anyway.
“He’ll be fine. He’s pretty independent and you have me.” My mother assured me when I lamented about the whole nanny drama. I am so thankful to have my parents who doesn’t mind helping their daughter out.
“It will be good for him and makes him more independent.” Mr. X supported my decision when I told him about it.
So I broke the news to her.
She was sad.
The boy was sad.
She cried hugging A and telling him to be a good boy.
“Why is she leaving Mommy?” boy gently asked me as I cuddled him on my lap later that night.
“Because you are a big boy now, right? You are going to be in elementary school soon.” I kissed his curly head.
“I am a big boy!” He jumped out of my lap. Went to the kitchen and got some water himself.
My heart was heavy but I just know I am doing the right thing and now it’s almost been a month since we are nanny-less and I love seeing how independent he gets.
16 thoughts on “Nannyless And Happy”
I know it can’t be easy. Sometimes, hired help become like family, and it’s hard to let them go.
I’m glad you’re all coping so well!
That’s so true Alison and she’s been with us for 3 years so she was like a family but I realized things changes and life goes on 🙂
yes A, you are a big boy and cute 🙂
Thank you Auntie 🙂
That is a pretty big transition. No one will take care of A like you will. You know in your heart you did the right thing. If it feels heavy like that you don’t have any choice but to make changes. 🙂
Thank you Pamela 🙂
Changes can be difficult at first for everyone but we are moving forward and I knew it was the right thing to do and I was lucky to have her helping me out in those early stages when I went back to work 🙂
Sounds like it was time to let her go. She seemed to be doing great till she got married.
She was great but I think her life has changes a lot and her priorities has shifted so that’s why I really feel this was the right thing to do 🙂 Thanks, girl!
Beautifully written. Life changes are always hard, especially when you lose someone who was a part of your family and child’s early life.
Thank you Andrea 🙂
Yes, I still remember my own nanny growing up so I’m sure my boy will carry that memories he has with her too.
Oh…that’s hard. I’m sorry about what you’re going through…but you’re right…your lil man will be OK. 🙂
So glad to have met you on Sverve!
I love the patience and understanding you showed her as her life changed. Sometimes, we can’t handle what we once did, especially if our priorities change. Beautifully written.
Your story reminds me of my cousins live in US. But your scenario if different. Sometimes the best happen to us with changes though we don’t like ’em, no? 🙂 Isn’t it wonderful how he spend days without nanny too? 🙂
When it comes to my country, we don’t usually look for nannies Mo 😀 Parents usually volunteer to spend time with the child 😉 Hmm… I thought it’s same over there too.
Well… Something would be wrong if you did the wrong thing, nah? 🙂 I’m sure you did the right thing just in time.
You have a wonderful week out there Mo 😉
It’s so sad that it had to come to this and she didn’t just admit she was having trouble adjusting to married life and being a nanny. The two of you could have worked it out together. But it sounds like you and A are doing great!
That’s so tough, but you need to do what’s best for your child. That’s why she is a child care helper. If she wanted shorter hours, then maybe she should have told you or should look for a job that requires less instead of making A eat super early to fit her schedule. Unfortunately people change, but you did the right thing in letting her go.
Personally I think Indonesian moms are the luckiest because nanny and/or house assistants are arguably easily available and relatively cheaper than in other country. But because of that when we are so used to having them hence when we are left with no nanny we become so worried. I am glad you have a good support system mbak Mo. When I stayed overseas I stay at home and no nanny. When I got back to Indonesia I was determined not to have any nanny as long as I get to work from home. But then my mom gave me her helper, who is now live in with us he he…