An Open Letter to My Ex Husband’s Wife

Dear my ex-husband’s wife,


First off, I apologize for the hate messages I sent to you on Facebook nearly 6 years ago when I first found out about you.

The truth is, I couldn’t handle the truth of the matter, and I needed someone to blame at the time. By hating you, I failed to look deep inside me. I couldn’t do that until around two years later.

Dear my ex-husband’s wife,

Throughout these years, after my share of the ongoing deep soul-searching journey and growing, facing my own demons, I found my peace and even found love again. This time, with a man who genuinely loves me for the woman I was, the woman I am, and the woman I will become.

My hatred for you has faded along with the much-needed growing up I did. I have also accepted that what he and I had was over and done. The only ties he and I have now are because we have a son together.

My relationship with my son’s father has also improved tremendously over these years. We are on friendly terms nowadays. We even discussed my relationship. It doesn’t get any friendlier than that, don’t you think? I am not a threat to your marriage.

Please try to understand that you and I are connected. We are in this together as long as you are still married to my son’s father. You are his stepmom. We don’t need to be besties, but maybe civil, and who knows where that will lead us once we get to know each other more. You are a part of my son’s life too. You will be there when my son stays with you over the weekend and the holidays. My son will be under your supervision.

Maybe it is time to stop avoiding me at all costs. Although I still haven’t met you in person after all these years, I have come to terms with the fact that you are part of my ex’s new life now, just as my fiancé will be a stepfather to my son. I have written this to thank you.

Yes, thank you.

Thank you for loving the father of my son the way that I couldn’t do. I wanted him to be happy with you, and he seemed happy. You were there for him when I wasn’t. You are what he needs. I wasn’t the kind of partner he needed; I had to be who I was, and it didn’t align with his needs. Just as I am thankful that he let me go. I had grown up in my spirit and soul to find the true love I was meant to be with. So, thank you…from the bottom of my heart. Thank you.

I am not talking about all of us holding hands and singing Kumbaya, but can we at least move past the old baggage?

I have forgiven you, and I am reaching out to you from one mother to another to allow us to open a new chapter this year where we can prioritize the needs of our children. I am grateful for everything that has happened in my life.

Dear ex-husband’s wife, I sincerely wish we could get along.

I wish you well.
Your husband’s ex-wife, the mother of your stepson.

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16 thoughts on “An Open Letter to My Ex Husband’s Wife

  1. Robin Rue (@massholemommy) Reply

    I love my ex-husband’s new wife. But then again, I get along pretty well with my ex, too.

  2. Amanda Reply

    This is such a powerful letter. Having parents who divorced when I was young, I know how heated things can be when one person moves on before the other. Wishing you both happiness.

  3. Clo Nevaeh Reply

    This is such a powerful post. You are such a strong women. I’m not sure how I would feel. But then again, it all depends on the situation.

  4. Elizabeth O. Reply

    That’s really admirable of you. This kind of thing is never easy but it’s good to know that you’re the first person reaching out. I hope it all works out well in the end.

  5. tina Reply

    This is amazing and so understanding. I’ve seen a few friends that have gotten divorced and I wish they had the relationship you have with your ex’s wife. It is so much better for the children.

  6. victoria Reply

    I love this post. Its so important to have a communication for the child

  7. Lorraine Reply

    I admire your ability to grow and accept the situation. You have moved on wonderfully. I wish you a healthy life, much love and joy with your little boy, your fiancé and your family.

  8. Marie Reply

    What a lovely letter! Surely it’s better when we can get along for the sake of our kids. This way life is much easier for everybody.
    It takes some time to be able to write this. Glad you achieved such peace at least.

  9. Levina Mandalagiri Reply

    There’s a rain deep inside my heart while reading this. It need such a big heart to accept your ex with other woman to be happy and make up friendship and get along well with your ex. Hope she also reads your sincere feeling.

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